AMC: Fucking Amazing Shit

When I read that AMC Theaters president, Adam Aron, was going to allow texting at AMC theaters I wasn’t really shocked. Have you been to an AMC lately? I don’t know if it’s just the ones here in Houston, TX, but AMC has really let itself go. From November 2014 until a month ago it was my go to theater. Because I watch so many movies AMC’s discount tickets were a real boon. And while it suffered from the negligence of a big chain, for the most part it was good enough.

Then it started showing signs that it was the “discount” movie theater. The floors weren’t just sticky, they were like walking on glue traps. Many seats were broken and most were so grimy they were black. The bathrooms were always in need of restocking or maintenance. Generally there was only one roll toilet paper for 8 stalls and no paper towels or soap. There were 6 sinks, but only a couple worked and the hand dryers, fugetaboutit. It was like being at “The Dollar” again.

Then all hell broke loose. I don’t know what happened but the last four screenings I attended were horrible: The Witch on 2/20, 10 Cloverfield Lane on 3/12, Deadpool on 3/18, Batman v Superman on 3/16. People talked the entirety of all the movies. This is after someone told them to “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” During Cloverfield and Deadpool there were idiot teens texting, taking selfies and for all I could tell, playing leap frog. Again, they didn’t respond to people telling them to shut up, sit down, etc.

I figured it was because they were teens. We had strayed from our normal time, first showings Saturday or Sunday morning, and had ended up in teenie time. But the same happened during Batman v Superman, by adults.

The last straw was the bathroom. My wife had to go before the movie and came back white as Mark Fuhrman’s KKKowl. There were two piles of shit, left in the middle of the floor. The craziest thing is they were neatly deposited on a couple paper towels. Some fucking animal had taken the time to place paper towels down, aim themselves, and shit just so.

So, no, texting during the movies wasn’t shocking. Yeah, it sucks, but there are some low-life fucks who need a place to go be pieces of shit. What was shocking was to read that the Aron had back peddled. Damn! If AMC wants to accommodate jack-offs, good. Give the nasty bastards a place to go. That way the rest of us who want to go and watch a fucking movie can do so in peace.

A friend suggested that AMC take it a step further. Give them a place to go and then lock the door behind them and set the fucking place on fire. That’s a bit much, but you know, now that I think about it…

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