Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre (2015)

Albuquerque

The creative depths dredgable thanks to CGI are limitless now that technology has made things so easy. All absurd bullshit is on the table, or, more precisely in this instance, in the swamps of Arkansas. Shark-sploitation. Sex-sploitation. Oscar De La Hoya-sploitation? Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre has it all.

Come on! How menacing can a shark be in the swamps of Arkansas? There’s plenty of shallow parts, not to mention more dry land, that a shark couldn’t be a threat.

WRONG!

CGI + Pun Title + Porn Stars = Idiocy of Grandiose Proportions

Fun Fact: The Arkansas swamp shark can travel on dry land at speeds of up to 30 mph a la Bugs Bunny.

Again, Idiocy of Grandiose Proportions.

See for yourself:

It’s the Dimond Encrusted Platinum Age of filmmaking, ya’ll. And it’s great to be alive!

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