Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

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I asked Valentine, pictured above, about how awesome Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) was. His answer, also picture above channeling Dave Chappelle, was disappointing. The movie, however, was not.

It’s the story of local boy, Gary “Eggsy” Unwin, who makes DAMN good. James Bond is the shit and all, but never do we see him get to do a Swedish princess in the asshole. How’s THAT for a slice of fried gold?

More bits of fried gold:

  • Professor Luke Skywalker.
  • SUH-weet spy gear.
  • Hanna Alström ass. Christ on his Throne!
  • Nod to all the great spy movies.
  • Serious enough to kick ass, but not so much so to get up it’s own ass.

Speaking of ass, here’s Hanna Alström’s:

Hanna Alström

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