Undefeatable (1993)

Anemic We’ve lost all sense of proportion when it comes to the use of adjectives. The most trite and mundane things are described as “epic” or “brilliant” or “amazing”, and no where more so than link baiting. Yet, for all the good knowing this does, when I read a youtube title like “Best fight scene of all time” my interest is piqued. I click to watch, and trench out the ever widening void of disgust inside me.

To further perpetuate the madness here is said video: 

Eh. Not too bad, huh?

Well, depends on your aesthetics, I suppose. There’s sprawling room when one defines “best”, and that’s without taking into account the many flavors which irony brings, like in the example above. Still, I think this video, and it’s description, deserve some small credit. In the “so bad it’s good” definition of “best” this clip is an entertaining fight scene. As such, I’m willing to give the author a pass. This time.

Fight

In fact, it was enjoyable enough that I decided to find the movie to watch it in it’s entirety. As it turns out, Undefeatable, is a Godfrey Ho film. For those not familiar, Godfrey Ho is the Ed Wood of Hong Kong Kung Fu films. Those not familiar with Ed Wood, I can’t help you. Go watch Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959). Undefeatable proved to be every bit as “good” as the “best fight scene of all time” suggested. In other words, for all the MSTies out there, Undefeatable is a must-see.

Here are some highlights to whet your appetite:

  • Slow motion does NOT make fight scenes more intense when the fighters suck.
  • When Paul, aka Stingray, the villain with mommy issues, goes bat-shit crazy he paints red Pepé Le Pew stripes in his 90s curl-mullet because… Well, because it’s bad-ass is why!
  • There are four fights and four Value Brand X gangs (a la Warriors): 1. Tow-Chain Bandolier, 2. Football Jock “Bear”, 3. Candy Apple Red, aka The Fruity Kid, 4. G.I. Tso of the Heavy Metal Clan
  • Did You Know? You can wrap chains around a person’s wrists and it will hold them firmly in place as if tethered.
  • Did You Know? Fight promoters are as dumb, and equally fucked, as horny teens camping on Crystal Lake out of cell service range. Stingray’s promoter, Lou, goes to Stingray’s secluded warehouse gym looking for his MIA fighter. He finds the plucked eyes of Stingray’s victims floating in his fish tank. Not finding anything odd about this, he continues looking around. He notices lady’s legs sticking out of a big storage chest. Nothing weird here, right? Better go get a better look… What could possibly go wrong?

 

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