A Painful Hard-on: The Expendables 3 (2014)

I don’t know if there is a scientific delineation for when a long-lasting erection becomes a priapism, but I’m sure if a guy is hard long enough to be disturbed by it that’s good enough. The Expendables 3 is a “little blue pill” of an experiment that has been going on now for three movies too long. Hopefully it has run its course because these poor old bastards can’t keep it up.

Come on, guys. You’ve had a good run. I know it’s difficult, but it’s time to give it a rest before you fuck around and break something.

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