Bromance: 2 Guns (2013)

I recently went back through my reviews. I noticed something that might raise an eyebrow or two: my taste in films seem completely arbitrary. One week I’m saying, “Don’t give Die Hard 34 a hard time. It’s exactly what it set out to be.” Then a month or so later I’m giving shit to R.I.P.D. for being derivative pig vomit.

I can just hear readers say, “Come on. Get it together already.” Know this, dear reader, there is a method to my madness. Yet, to explain it I have to take you back in time.

Aeryk & Homer

When I was a wee lad, my best friend, Homer, and I (see picture above) would play with our action figures like they were the actors in a movie we were making. Our eyes were the camera. We would come up with impossible stories and action sequences that make Michael Bay look like Alfred Hitchcock. We would do this from the moment we woke up until the moment we went to sleep. When we were too loud and our parents kicked us out of the house, we would pretend we were the characters in our fantastic stories.

We did this because the movies we watched ignited our imaginations.

It wasn’t just when we were together. We would each do this on our own. Luckily though we got to spend most of our time together. Two peas in a lost in imagination land.

Flash forward to now. Homer and I have grown up, and apart, but movies still have a profound effect on me—though I’ve transferred playing with toys to the more mature, though less paying, “creative writing”. Like then, a movie doesn’t have to be particularly brilliant to hype me up. A decent story will suffice but it must have characters I can identify with. Better still if it has characters  I would love to be. 2 Guns has this in spades.

The main characters are Robert ‘Bobby’ Trench (Denzel Washington) and Michael ‘Stig’ Stigman (Mark Wahlberg). Stig is the wise-cracking smart-ass; Bobby is the smooth as silk cool guy. They are both law enforcement officers, but neither knows the other’s true identity (Stig is naval intelligence; Bobby is DEA). They’ve been pitted against one another to take the fall for a bank heist they pull off trying to bring down a Mexican drug cartel. To make matters worse, there’s still another unknown player, very powerful, who are out to get them. Neither is going to take this set up lying down. The bad guys don’t stand a chance.

Washington and Wahlberg have a great chemistry between them which really brings their characters alive. Normally I gravitate towards one of the main characters in movies like this, but with these two I can’t choose. I want to be both. There’s no deep philosophical reason. They’re not a metaphor for something transcendental. It’s purely ‘cos they’re bad-ass is why.

What’s awesome, like when I was a child, I can pretend like I’m these guys without looking like a total dork. A dork, yeah, but not a total one like the kids in the picture below. If you’re into buddy cop films, 2 Guns is as good as it gets.

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